Nonconformist Chronicles

Should Christians Date Only Christians?

Some people reason that dating a non-Christian is no big deal since they hope to eventually convert the unbeliever. But dating in hopes that you will change someone is taking a great risk. Since you will likely end up married to a person you date, I will advise my own children to date only Christians.

While some unbelieving spouses are converted by their mate, this is the rare exception to the rule. So the book by Lee and Leslie Strobel, Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage, adamantly warns against "missionary dating."

Suppose you're engaged or married to an unbeliever. He may finally get baptized or join a church in order to foster a "united" marriage. But you may always be well ahead of him spiritually. He may never read his Bible outside of church, pray with you outside of meal times, or grow as a Christian spouse.

You may date someone who claims to be a Christian. He may attend church with you. But is he really a committed follower of Jesus? He may attend church to impress your family, or to win your hand in marriage, or just to be with you. But once you say "I do" his commitment may degenerate to anywhere from marginal to non-existent. I've seen this happen to couples on countless occasions.

Some might justify dating non-Christians, insisting that they are nicer, or even morally superior to the Christian dating options. That will only be true when those claiming to be Christians are hypocrites. A true Christian will strive to follow Christ in all things.

Some might protest that there are few eligible Christians in their small town or small church. So attend a Christian university or move to a different city when you're old enough to be on your own. Better not to date at all then to put your soul in harm's way by dating a non-Christian.

Marrying a non-Christian could mean a lifetime of disagreements on everything from debt, to drinking, to entertainment choices, to whether to give to the church. The biggest disagreement will be child-rearing.

I once heard a statistic that if the father in a house is not a Christian there is a 75% greater likelihood that his children will not be Christians. Many have beat these odds, but the percentage sounds reasonable to me. If only one parent considers something to be important, the children aren't as likely to think it's important. The bottom line is that a non-Christian influence in the home could actually mean that your children run a greater risk of going to hell. That may sound harsh, but life will be much easier if both parents are on the same spiritual page. 

I would personally not even recommend marriage outside one's own fellowship. A Catholic/Protestant or Evangelical/Liberal mix could bring a multitude of problems if either party is truly dedicated to their tradition. The big question is where the kids will go to church. If religion is important to you at all, you'll want them to go with you. To be a truly committed disciple, while married to someone who is not is a recipe for frustration and possibly disaster.   

Should Christians Marry Non-Christians?

In regard to the above question some will argue that Scripture does not explicitly forbid marriage to an unbeliever. While there is no book, chapter, and verse that forbids it in the New Testament, God often warned Israel about the compromises resulting from marriage to unbelievers. 

I also realize that some did not set out to have a spiritually mismatched marriage. Either they converted and their spouse did not, or perhaps their spouse backslid. I'm in no way suggesting that a Christian leave an unbelieving spouse.

While we may not have book, chapter, and verse that forbids marriage to non-Christians, the strongest advice you'll hear against it will be from Christians who are in a mismatched marriage. You have no idea what future problems are in store for you if you marry an unbeliever.

The unbeliever's influence might actually lead to your own lack of commitment or loss of faith altogether. You might become so fatigued by the whole situation that it seems easier to just give up. It's much easier to pull someone down from high ground than it is to pull someone up from low ground. Believers need all the help they can get to stay faithful in a secular world. Marry a spouse who'll build you up and not bring you down. Marry someone with whom you can partner in serving the Lord.    

One might protest by citing cases in which the mismatched marriage led to the unbeliever's conversion. While a Christian may convert an unbelieving spouse, this is the very rare exception to the rule. Don't count on it! Don't date someone in the hopes that you will convert them once you are married.

This brings us to the topic of my next post, "Should Christians Date Only Christians?" Stay tuned.   

   

Ministering to the Mismatched

Suppose you are acquainted with a couple in which one spouse is a Christian and the other is not. What is the best way to serve this couple? Here are some common sense suggestions:

1) Ministry to the Believing Spouse. Everyone needs a mentor, or at least a comrade, to whom one can vent, cry, or say anything that's on their heart. If you find yourself filling that role for a spiritually single Christian, remember to be objective. As the Strobels suggest in their book, do not create a situation in which it seems that you and the believing spouse are allied against the unbeliever. Be careful to not always side with the believer if she shares a marital disagreement with you. Be careful to point out the positive virtues of the unbelieving spouse. You don't want to create more discord in an already difficult marriage.  

But do not overcompensate in the other direction, where it appears that you always side with the unbeliever. Simply try to be objective. Sometimes it's most important to just listen and not even take a side.

2) Ministry to the Unbelieving Spouse. A relationship with any lost person should have the ultimate hope of leading that person to Christ. But don't come across as if the unbeliever is your pet evangelism project. Start a relationship on common ground--a common hobby, collection, favorite sport, children's' activities, or something like that. Always be alert to ways you can put in a good word for Jesus, but don't get into any relationship with ulterior motives in mind. Insincerity is conspicuous from a mile away.

Do not triangulate by putting the believing spouse in the middle so you can go after the unbeliever. Do not drop by the couple's home without first making sure it's okay. If you have nothing in common with the unbeliever, introduce this person to believers who do share some common ground with him.

3) Do not Treat the Spiritually Single as Second Class Citizens. It seems to be a couple's world, even in the church. It is difficult for singles (and the spiritually single) to fit in. Be sure to always leave the door open to opportunities for involvement. Do not assume that the spiritually single spouse would not be interested or available for a particular ministry because of their situation. It may be the case, but don't assume it. Treat these folks like anybody else. If you're in the position of planning church functions, include activities that are not exclusively couples oriented.

4) Do not Judge. "You have no idea what I have to put up with" is a common lament I hear from spiritually single people. They have a tough row to hoe and church members can make it worse by judging the believing spouse on the basis of sporadic church attendance, limited program involvement, or low giving patterns. This could all be symptoms of one living with an unbeliever.

Don't assume that the spiritually single person is simply using the unbelieving spouse as a convenient excuse for non-involvement. But as I said before, most of the spiritually single would love to be more involved and nothing would make them happier than a spouse converting to Christ. What follows are the words of an e-mail correspondent in response to this series who knows what it's like to be spiritually single and who shall remain anonymous. I use this with permission:

I would say that the best way to support spiritually single women is to develop and maintain a personal relationship with her. Tell her that God cares about her. Show her that your church cares about her. Encourage, encourage , encourage. Don't blame her or condemn her, or guilt her for her relationship with a man she loves who is an unbeliever. The kind words you share with her will be an encouragement during the dark moments she may experience.

No Compromise. No Fear.

While a woman must respect her husband, Jesus remains Lord above all and doing his will comes before anyone else. There will inevitably be conflict in a marriage where only one spouse is a Christian. There will be different goals and priorities.

While my previous post was adamant that a woman respect her husband, there is a line to be drawn. Just as a Christian is not permitted to lie for her employer, nor is she to compromise holy living to appease an unbelieving spouse. At times a woman must stand her ground, resolved to obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29).

Peter told the Christian wives of unbelieving husbands to "do what is right and do not give way to fear" (1 Peter 3:6). A Christian is to resist if an unbelieving spouse  pressures her to go along with anything dishonest (such as cheating on taxes). The Christian is to resist practicing a spouse's non-Christian religion in any form. If a spouse forbids one going to church, that demand must be resisted as well. 

One should never fear a spouse, or anyone else, to the point that faith is compromised. The only one we're to fear is God. Peter directed the Christian minority in Asia Minor to fear God and honor the king (1 Peter 2:17). Notice that Peter did not say "fear the king." Respect him, yes. But fear him to the point of compromising allegiance to Christ? Never!  

I've heard some women lament that knowing just how far to go without being guilty of compromise is sometimes difficult to negotiate. Is it a compromise to miss a worship assembly to join your husband for a recreational weekend? Is it necessary to be a three-times-a-week church attendee knowing the stress this will put on your marriage? To what extent can you be involved in ministries of the church without an unbelieving spouse feeling neglected? Is it more important that your children see your example of sold out commitment to "all things church" or is it more important that they live in a peaceful household environment?

None of these are easy questions to answer. But I think more important than all that is to model the ethics of Jesus. Faithfulness is not necessarily equal to being the most active church member. Now that is no license to use one's spouse as a convenient excuse to avoid commitment to the Lord's body. But I think that in most cases, the wives of unbelievers would love to be more involved. But knowing the friction it would cause, they also realize that they have a marriage to maintain.

So I guess there aren't easy answers for many dilemmas you'll encounter if married to an unbeliever. Much prayer and soul searching will be necessary. If your unbelieving spouse does not hinder your worship and service to God, then be thankful. Many spiritually single women would love to have it so good.  

Respecting Your Husband

Ephesians 5:33 says "...the wife must respect her husband." But what if he is not a Christian? Does his absence of faith give her the right to neglect his needs or to discount his judgment on every issue as being suspect? No.

Peter addressed this situation, in which the wife of an unbeliever might be tempted to reason that her dedication to the lordship of Christ releases her from submission to her husband. On the contrary, Peter appeals to the example of Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him "lord." 

That isn't to say I'd recommend today's husbands insisting that their wives call them "lord." (Try that at home and see what happens---or not!). The application of a principle is what's important in this case, but not every specific application of that principle in an extreme patriarchal society should be carried over to now. 

While the New Testament doesn't order that slavery be abolished, nor was the abolition of patriarchalism prescribed. But as the gospel, with its interest in social justice, sows the seeds for slavery's eventual demise, the seeds for the eventual demise of patriarchalism are likewise sown. But in the meantime, the slaves or wives of unbelievers would have a difficult tightrope to negotiate.

While women are no longer considered property and are now involved in education, religion, and politics, they should nevertheless respect their husbands. In fact, the Christian husband should also respect his wife (1 Pet. 3:7).

But how does one respect an unbelieving husband? The following suggestions are just a few I picked up from Lee and Leslie Strobel's book, Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage:

Do not Lecture or Criticize. When Peter suggests that wives win their husbands over "without words," he was not saying that it's never appropriate to share the gospel. But when a spouse isn't ready to listen, example goes farther than words ever could. Show your spouse what it would be like being married to Jesus. Allow your commitment to Christ make you more, and not less, committed to the marriage. Let your spouse see that a switch to the Christian lifestyle would be a trade up.

Live a Pure Life. Let your spouse see a consistent example of honesty and integrity. Do not be deceptive in regard to your financial commitment to the church. Do not allow your commitment to church result in spousal neglect.

Avoid Comparisons. Do not fantasize about the marriages of equally yoked spouses. Do not wish your husband were more like the preacher, elder, or some other Christian husband. These guys have their own share of faults and your husband likewise has qualities that these other guys do not possess. There are some reasons you chose to marry him.

Focus on the Positive. Be your husband's best friend and biggest cheerleader. Share the interests you have in common. Commend his strengths and the things he does right, without fault finding. Speak words that are helpful for building up (Eph. 4:29). This doesn't mean you never disagree or simply overlook a moral lapse.

Let Your Husband know he is Needed. Express appreciation for his financial support and what he does right as a husband or father.

Don't be a Sexual Prude. When Lee Strobel's wife was converted, he feared that Christian women were sexually repressed prudes who see sex as a necessary evil or as an activity to be avoided. You can dispel this assumption by initiating love making on a somewhat consistent basis.   

Do not Fixate on the Mismatch. Make the best of your situation by accentuating the common ground you share as a couple instead of always dwelling on things you wish were different. Allow this difficult situation to mold and transform you into a greater likeness of Jesus while you live as a missionary in your own home.

Dispel Assumptions that Your Opinion of Your Spouse has been Lessened. Express admiration to both your spouse and to others about him. Highlight his good qualities. While you need a Christian mentor or small group, do not vent to everyone in sight about your husband's shortcomings.

Do not have Unrealistic Expectations. Don't expect to be perfect. You will blow it sometimes, but you are not ultimately responsible for your spouse's spiritual decisions. And don't think that all of your husband's shortcomings are due to his being an unbeliever. Should he convert, he still won't be Super-Dad or the perfect husband.

Teach the Children to Respect both Parents. Yes, try to mold your children into Christ-like people, but do not ever allow your spouse to feel that you and the kids are allied against him.

Stay Connected. The Strobels offer such simple suggestions as eating dinner together and going to bed at the same time, both of which communicate a subtle connection.

This only scratched the surface of what the Strobels offer in their book and the practical steps they give for carrying out some of these suggestions. They offer many evangelistic suggestions as well.

I have typically used the words "he" and "husband" not to neglect the spiritually single men, but because spiritually single women seem to be more common. Most, if not all, of these suggestions could go both ways. In fact, most of these suggestions could strengthen a Christian marriage as well as a spiritually mismatched one. 

Jealous of Jesus

We've had a particularly snowy February up here in northern Ohio. A few mornings ago I was in the basement when I heard Gretchen call from upstairs that she needed my help. The van got stuck in the snow as she backed out of the driveway. I guess I should have shoveled a wider path where the driveway meets the street. As Gretchen turned to back out, one front tire got stuck in a heap of snow and then began to spin in the ice beneath it.

I proceeded to get Gretchen unstuck with a little shoveling and some of my own vehicle maneuverings. It feels good to be useful and I welcome any opportunity to be my wife's hero. I feel especially needed if I can help my lady when she is in distress. Now one might argue that if I had done a better job shoveling...but we won't go there.

My point is that husbands need to feel needed. A most common fear among non-Christian husbands of believing wives is that they aren't as needed anymore. An unbelieving husband might worry that his wife's faith might have endowed her with a sense of Independence in which a new circle of friends (church family) has decreased the woman's need for her husband.

Lee Strobel has written from the experience of one whose wife converted long before he did. While most unbelieving spouses won't know how to articulate their feelings, might not if they could, or may be unaware of those feelings, Strobel is able to evaluate in hindsight the fears and insecurities of a spouse whose partner converts.

He admits to having felt less needed. He assumed that all of his judgments would now be suspect since his wife was now living by a different script. He feared that she would lose all respect for him. As her emotional needs were increasingly being met by someone other than her husband--namely Jesus--Strobel found himself being jealous of Jesus (although he would not have admitted that, even to himself, at the time).

The jealousy of Jesus extends to the church as the unbelieving husband imagines that his wife's Christian friends probably don't care for him since he does not follow Christ. The non-Christian also fears that his spouse might be disclosing her personal marital issues to her believing friends, whether it is true or not.  

The unbelieving husband may resent the church because he sees it as competition for his wife's time and attention. So he may indulge in angry outbursts, the silent treatment, or the demeaning of his wife's faith without any apparent provocation. He may worry that since the people his wife now emulates are Christian examples, some of whom might be male church leaders, that this might lessen the wife's respect for her unbelieving spouse and result in discontent with her marriage.

The unbelieving spouse might feel that his wife and the church are somehow allied against him. He might also worry that the children will turn against him, or at least pity him as "poor lost Daddy." He doesn't want to feel like anyone's "pet evangelism project."

Over time, Strobel's fears were calmed by his wife's consistent reassurance, although she doesn't claim to have done everything perfectly. But it was this reassurance that finally persuaded Strobel to check out the faith.

If your spouse reacts negatively to your faith, Strobel's insights might help you to empathize with an unbelieving spouse's insecurities. He and his wife, and co-author, Leslie share insights as to what brought them out of their mismatch and into spiritual compatibility. Again, there are no guarantees that your spouse will convert, but one can learn to better understand an unbelieving spouse and to make the most of a spiritually mismatched marriage.

There is much more in the Strobels' book, Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage.   

The Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

While attending my daughter's Girl Scout event in a local church auditorium, I noticed a back table of books labeled, "Recommended Reading." Of course I walked over to check it out and I just may have found the definitive resource for believers married to non-Christians. The book is called Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage by Lee and Leslie Stobel. I found a copy in the local seminary library and read the first two chapters this morning.

Lee Strobel was an unbeliever and a successful investigative reporter for the Chicago Tribune, whose bylines often made the front page. He was also an atheist, persuaded by high school science classes that Darwin had eliminated the need for God.

When Lee's wife became a follower of Christ, she endured the ridicule and resentment of an unbelieving husband. She tells her story in her own words, describing the hopeless frustration she felt at not being able to share the most important part of her life with the man she loved. She relates the marital conflicts regarding issues like finances and child-rearing.

Some marriages do not begin mismatched. Two unbelievers might marry and then one party converts or two believers may marry and then one party loses faith. In other situations, one party (usually the male) might feign religious commitment in order to win a woman's affections or her hand in marriage. But after the wedding, his charade is exposed most notably by his lack of church involvement.

In still other situations, a woman knows her boyfriend is not a Christian and is not interested. But she marries him anyway, in hopes that her example might convert him. Sometimes that happens, but not usually. And when it does, the believer may sometimes remain miles ahead of the spouse in spirituality--a form of "mismatch" leaving one to question the sincerity or depth of the "conversion." Was it to please God or to have a united marriage?

The Strobels' story has a happy ending, with Lee finally converting. Today, he is one of the most capable Christian apologists, having brought his investigative reporting skills to bear on the questions of faith in books like The Case for Christ, The Case for Faith, The Case for a Creator, and The Case for the Real Jesus.

The Strobels wrote their book to help those in spiritually mismatched marriages. Having been there, the Strobels are more than qualified. While offering suggestions for reaching a non-Christian spouse, and while upholding the importance of one's Christian influence, the authors also warn against misplaced guilt. Too many believers blame themselves for a spouse's spiritual condition: "If only I were a better example;" "If only I were more Christ-like." And sometimes well meaning Christians add to the guilt, suggesting that perhaps the believing spouse isn't doing all that is possible.   

This topic is too often ignored by preachers who've likely never had the experience of being spiritually mismatched. I, for example, would never have picked up a book like this if I hadn't been studying 1 Peter and if someone hadn't requested I write about this. My eyes are being opened and I'm becoming more sympathetic to the plight of believers married to unbelievers. Every minister should read this to help them better understand this very common issue. It has existed in every congregation of which I've been a part.  

Marriage to the Unfaithful or Unbeliever (Part 3)

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Spoken to Christian wives with unbelieving husbands, what could Peter be emphasizing in this context? Modern interpreters quickly reject any notion that it might be wrong for a woman to wear jewelry or to have a fashionable hairstyle. We hopefully base those views upon biblical reflection as opposed to our own cultural preferences.

A minority, however, have taken Peter's words as a literal rule for all time. Some religious groups have therefore insisted that female members dress like prairie school marms. It seems to me that this would actually violate Peter's intent, which was to advise women to avoid drawing undo attention to themselves. 

Peter advises humble apparel. He doesn't say that it's wrong to wear jewelry or braided hair. He merely indicates that this should not be one's primary source of beauty. Some first century authors complained of women who were overly focused on their outward appearance. Imagine that!

Peter's point is that inner beauty is what really counts. However beauty-conscious you are, your skin will wrinkle, your hair will lose its color, and you may have to purchase a new wardrobe because you've outgrown the old one. Dyes, botox, and cosmetic surgery may attempt to slow the aging process. But there comes a time when your body finally says, "Enough is enough." Whoever you're trying to impress might be actually pointing and whispering, "Look at that ridiculous old person trying to look young." There is nothing more ridiculous than a woman in her 60s trying to look like a beach bunny.

Peter's point is the same as what my grandmother always told me: "Pretty is as pretty does." Now there is nothing wrong with trying to look pretty. Your husband will likely appreciate it. But it's possible to be overly obsessed with that which does not last. Outward beauty fades, but inner beauty is unfading. So it's important to find a spouse with inner beauty. When someday you look at each other from your rocking chairs, it is the inner beauty that remains.

This inner beauty includes a gentle and quiet spirit. This isn't to say that women should be seen and not heard, keeping all opinions to themselves. The traits of gentleness and quietness are becoming of all believers in Scripture--not just women. 

In the context of Peter's letter he is deterring potential sources of conflict. The wealthier women of the church should not be flaunting their wealth in the presence of those who are the wives of paupers and slaves. Moreover, in some first century cultures, for a woman to be highly adorned could be a sign that she was "loose."

So what was the point for women married to non-Christian husbands? Simply this: Do not carry oneself in such a way that one's spouse might be embarrassed or ashamed. A woman's newfound freedom in Christ might have led her to defy social conventions and live as if she were completely independent of her husband. Christ is Lord now, after all.

While Christ is Lord, the worldly lords of first century life remained. For Christians to reject the authority of civil government, slave-masters, or husbands would actually do harm to the cause of the gospel. Overturning societal conventions would bring further reproach upon an already persecuted church.

Now, as then, the Christian wife should live in respect of and in interdependence with her unbelieving husband. All Christian women (and men) should give more attention to inner beauty than to what is on the outside. And just perhaps, in time, one's non-Christian spouse might realize that your attractive inner beauty is actually the beauty of Christ.

Again, I don't want to imply guarantees or impose guilt trips on those whose spouses have not converted. I'm simply relaying a message from Peter which actually has application to all believers.   

Marriage to the Unfaithful or Unbeliever, (Part Two)

The first century church was largely populated by those in subordinate societal roles. The gospel had a certain appeal to slaves, freedmen, non-citizens, and women. Those in charge of the established order were sometimes intolerant, or at least critical, of their subordinates' newfound faith.

Peter's directive to Christians in these subordinate roles was to live as best they could as aliens and strangers in the world. While free in Christ and belonging to his kingdom, Christians were nevertheless to submit to civil authorities. Christian slaves were to obey their non-Christian masters and wives were to continue in submission to their husbands, as was the norm in their culture.

While Christians were to be submissive to the established order, they were only to go as far as their faith would allow. If a government leader, master, or husband demanded something that went against one's faith, then obedience to God would overrule obedience to human beings. So Christians were to submit to those in charge as far as possible, so long as their allegiance to Christ was not compromised.

This could be most difficult in one's home life, in a society where a woman was expected to follow her husband's religion. But if a believing woman's husband was a pagan, she was to resist submission in this area. 

Yet Peter does not allow this to be the spark that ignites a full scale rebellion. While Christ must be priority, his followers are not to live insubordinate lives. A wife was to continue honoring her husband as head of the household, not considering herself to be completely independent of his authority.

For a Christian woman to rebel against her pagan husband's authority would only make matters worse. It would insure that the husband would never be converted and it would lend credibility to accusations that Christians were rabble-rousers without respect for authority. So even in a religiously mixed marriage, a woman was to submit to her husband as far as possible.

Having instructed Christian slaves' subordination to harsh masters, Peter addresses the wives of unbelieving husbands:  

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands, so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives (1 Peter 3:1).  

Can this really work or is Peter being a bit unrealistic? Many Christian wives have lived faithfully for many years before unbelieving husbands. These women must not feel like failures because their husbands have not converted. The husband still has free will to accept or reject the gospel.

Many Christian wives have conversed with their unbelieving husbands at length about matters regarding faith. I think Peter's point is that a continual badgering, begging, or nagging will not change anything for the better. Nor will neglect of a person's needs or wishes when they can be obliged without compromising one's faith. The better one treats a non-Christian spouse, the greater the likelihood the unbeliever will come around. While there are still no guarantees, Peter's point is that the best hope for an unbeliever's conversion is through the example of a Christian spouse.

More later.  

Marriage to the Unfaithful or Unbeliever, (Part One)

Throughout my nearly two decades of full time ministry, I have known many women who've attended church without their husbands. While I've also known some husbands who came without their wives, this has been far less common. Is it safe to assume that more women are attracted to the gospel than men?

My heart has gone out to these "spiritually single" women, unable to share with their husbands what should be the most important item in their lives. Rare is the "spiritually single" woman's commitment to her local congregation as great as that of the woman whose husband is a Christian. There are notable exceptions, but a divided allegiance is often a reality. 

Wives of unbelieving husbands have told me that their husbands are often jealous of the wife's faith commitment. It seems rare that a woman in this situation can attend three times a week and also participate in ministries of the church without her husband expressing some resentment. He may enjoy golf or biking on Sunday mornings, but he feels he must compete for his wife's attention.

I have known wives of unbelieving husbands who speak glowingly of their spouse, affirming that he is a wonderful husband and father in most every way. He just isn't interested in church, but does not hinder his wife's involvement. Other unbelieving husbands have been forcefully resentful. I also know some "spiritually single" wives whose husbands attend church with them and even have good friends within the Lord's body. 

Some of these wives wish the preacher would step in and befriend or study with their husbands. Others would prefer the preacher not come visit, knowing that his message would not be received well. The preacher isn't always sure what to do.

The request for this topic came at a good time since I am currently preaching through 1 Peter on Sunday nights. I recently covered 1 Peter 3:1-7, which addresses this topic. I'm not sure how authoritatively I can address the topic since I have never had the experience, but a good place to start is by looking at the Scripture, which I will do in my next post. I would welcome your comments and those who wish to comment either here or via e-mail are more than welcome. I'm especially hoping to ask how we might support spouses in this situation and perhaps help them to cope.