In regard to the above question some will argue that Scripture does not explicitly forbid marriage to an unbeliever. While there is no book, chapter, and verse that forbids it in the New Testament, God often warned Israel about the compromises resulting from marriage to unbelievers.
I also realize that some did not set out to have a spiritually mismatched marriage. Either they converted and their spouse did not, or perhaps their spouse backslid. I'm in no way suggesting that a Christian leave an unbelieving spouse.
While we may not have book, chapter, and verse that forbids marriage to non-Christians, the strongest advice you'll hear against it will be from Christians who are in a mismatched marriage. You have no idea what future problems are in store for you if you marry an unbeliever.
The unbeliever's influence might actually lead to your own lack of commitment or loss of faith altogether. You might become so fatigued by the whole situation that it seems easier to just give up. It's much easier to pull someone down from high ground than it is to pull someone up from low ground. Believers need all the help they can get to stay faithful in a secular world. Marry a spouse who'll build you up and not bring you down. Marry someone with whom you can partner in serving the Lord.
One might protest by citing cases in which the mismatched marriage led to the unbeliever's conversion. While a Christian may convert an unbelieving spouse, this is the very rare exception to the rule. Don't count on it! Don't date someone in the hopes that you will convert them once you are married.
This brings us to the topic of my next post, "Should Christians Date Only Christians?" Stay tuned.
Well said, Wade. I completely agree and appreciate so much how you've worded your thoughts here.
Posted by: Frank | March 25, 2010 at 01:57 PM
I totally agree with you. An even sadder thing is when two "Christians" marry, then one decided he or she doesn't want to be married anymore, though not adulterous, leaving the other partner in a terrible dilemma, whether or not to ever remarry or forever remain single. In my personal life, I dated a non-Christian, but married him after he was converted. He became the steadfast one in our 60 years marriage, for which I will be eternally grateful.
Posted by: Jeanne M. | March 25, 2010 at 05:27 PM
Frank,
Thanks for your continued encouragement.
Posted by: Wade Tannehill | March 25, 2010 at 09:36 PM
Jeanne,
I'm glad things turned out so well for your marriage. Sometimes those success stories happen. I appreciate your comment.
Posted by: Wade Tannehill | March 25, 2010 at 09:38 PM
How offensive. Pulling someone down from high ground, who says you occupy the high ground? I was a Christian for most of my life, I no longer am and I believe I am better for it, and this article and comments reinforce this view. "You might become so fatigued..." try telling a Christian you do not believe in God, you will become very fatigued listening to their (your) tripe. Is it any wonder that it is very rare that a Christian will convert an unbelieving spouse. Try acting like a loving adult, not as if you are superior because you happen to have belief in God. As for you maybe not still believing in God after being married to an unbeliever, might it not just be do to seeing that your prior view was untenable?
Posted by: Kevin | June 02, 2010 at 02:42 PM
Kevin,
I appreciate your comment and I apologize for taking so long to reply. I've been busy and unable to check my comments lately. Perhaps the high and low ground was not the best choice of words for what I'm attempting to express. The high ground I spoke of is no claim to superiority for me or any other Christians. A true Christian will not consider oneself better than others since no one is perfect. A holier-than-thou attitude is hypocrisy.
What I meant to to convey is that the high ground is the Judeo-Christian world view and the ethic taught by Jesus. To live a life of sobriety, fidelity, and integrity is indeed a superior ethic (high ground) and the one taught by Jesus. This doesn't make his followers superior people. I'll admit to having known unbelievers who are as ethical as others who claim to be Christians. But I believe that to be a Christian is to strive for the higher ground as Jesus invites us to begin that ascent.
Kevin, you stated that you are no longer a Christian and think yourself to be better for it. You obviously believe that you occupy the high ground, so I'm not sure why you should feel any more offended by Christians as they should feel offended by you. You have obviously had some bad experiences.
Posted by: Wade Tannehill | June 08, 2010 at 04:13 PM